Dear pets, I didn’t want you to be overwhelmed by an encyclopedia entry about pegging, so I broke up this post into two parts. Part 1 discussed several misconceptions about pegging and how to train your ass to prepare to be pegged. In this post, I will talk about harnesses and dildos, and safety. And lube. Lots of lube. I talked about lube in Part 1 as well, but it bears repeating: use lots and lots of lube.
Types of harnesses and dildos
I love a good old-fashioned leather harness with an O-ring to snap in your dildos. They look a little like jock straps, with a belt, a triangular part for the front that has the O-ring, and two straps that run from the crotch to the belt. I have owned both nylon and leather ones and the leather ones I found less abrasive. I think there may be harnesses made out of vegan leather if you don’t want to use animal leather. I like these because they are adjustable, are relatively comfortable, and can be tightened to being snug without cutting off circulation. And when you want to switch toys, you just have to unsnap it (there are usually three snaps) and swap. Also, it’s easy to clean since you just need to wipe it down with some disinfectant and a rag.
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Underwear type harnesses: These have the advantage of being real underwear with a hidden surprise. They have a rigid ring in them that holds the toy in place. These are a fun alternative and are pretty comfy. They also project that “I’m ready for action” look. The downside is that they may require an extra insert to give the base of the toy a little more stability (you can often buy the insert when you buy this style of harness). They can be a little more difficult to clean since they’re like regular underwear. I am assuming they probably need to be washed on the gentle cycle and hung to dry since heat is death for O-rings. They are also generally cheaper than jock strap-type harnesses.
Strapless harnesses: I have no experience with these, but knowing what I know about physics, I can’t imagine this is very easy to control (since one fixed point = infinite spin). I have heard that they can be fun, especially if you’re going for that minimalist look, but again, being able to put the dildo exactly where you want it is part of the fun of pegging. So, I’m opting for more control.
Thigh harnesses, which just look like a band and fit around one thigh, are also an option and can look intimidating in some cases. This way, the sissy boy/sub can just sit on the domme’s lap, and she has to do less work. Which I’m always in favor of.
Dildos: Choose a flexible dildo that is slightly curved. Start with a small dildo, even if you’ve trained your ass. You won’t know how you react when it’s being thrust in and out of you by another person. Also, a slightly curved dildo is better than a butt plug which is generally straight and a little more rigid. The rectum is naturally curved, and you want a toy that can go along that natural curve.
Lube, lube, lube
Lube should be used extremely liberally. Buy the best that you can afford and buy two bottles. I’m not kidding. It’s kind of a buzz kill to run out of lube just as you have your submissive finally taking it all the way. Just like in scouts, it’s good to be prepared.
Because the ass tends to create what is humorously called the “squeegee effect” you can use a lube shooter, which ensures that you get lube into the anal cavity. It looks a little like a syringe without a needle, and is a very handy tool if you’re planning to do a lot of anal play. You will want to use more lube than you think is necessary. If you feel any tugging or dryness, reapply.
Also: do not, do not, do not use a silicone-based lube with silicone toys. It will cause a nasty reaction and break down your toys. Opt for water-based lube instead.
Safety
Like I mentioned in Part 1, the rectum is a delicate area and should be treated with respect. (Now, every body part should be treated with respect, but I digress.) Take your time.
First, make sure that you and your partner have discussed terms. Do you want to be penetrated with her fingers first? A butt plug? A dildo that is not being worn? A dildo that is being worn? Be specific. Don’t be afraid to get into the detail and be specific about you are and are not willing to do (hard limits) and what you are wary of trying (soft limits). This is something you should do in every BDSM play session, even if it’s with your long-term partner. If you’re not ready to talk about these things, I’d suggest you do something else. When it comes to pegging or being anally penetrated, you have to ask for exactly what you want and be able to assert exactly what you don’t want. It’s an extremely vulnerable act, and I want you to enjoy every minute of it. Terms should include a safe word/phrase and a warning word/phrase that will bring the action to a halt or slow it down, respectively. Hint: Your safe word should not be “no.” Depending on the scenario inside your session, this might be a totally valid word. It should be something that wouldn’t naturally be uttered in a sexual context. It could be the name of tropical animal, a candy flavor — just something that again wouldn’t naturally be uttered in the course of your playing.
Second, when you’re being penetrated, you need to be talking to your partner constantly. She should be checking in with you (“is this OK? How does this feel?”) and gauging your comfort level. For this reason I recommend against having a gag in while doing this. And, like with your ass training, use the breath protocol, which is to take a big breath into your abdomen, and then as you’re exhaling, have your partner push farther in. If you are uncomfortable or in pain, have your partner slow down or stop. If you’re in pain, it’s your body telling you something is wrong, so take heed.
When you’re comfortable being penetrated with fingers and a butt plug, then you should try the strap on. If the domme doesn’t already have the harness on, then the bottom should keep a butt plug in to maintain openness. If you’re a domme, this is also a good way to torture your submissive a little more before his little sissy ass gets what he wants.
Finally, for hygienic purposes, you will probably want to use gloves (you may want to use nitrile, to avoid unpleasant allergic reactions to latex) and condoms over your toys for easy cleanup. Finally, if your toys are made of silicone, you can boil them for three minutes to sterilize them. Just make sure to take them off the kitchen counter before company comes.
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