Erections Are Delicate Things Part 2: How to Stay Hard While Wearing a Condom

This was actually going to be the last installment in this series, but I decided to move it up because, well, this is something that myself and many of my girlfriends have encountered over the years.

We're dating someone new, and we’re really excited. But of course, we want to stay safe, so we insist on our new partner wear a condom.

Which is a one-way ticket to Flaccid City.

This doesn’t happen every time I have a new partner. But it has happened enough that I want to address it.

What to do when you find yourself in this scenario? First, make sure you go down again on your partner. She has to feel satisfied. If she really loves intercourse (and you did have a conversation with her *before* you two hopped into bed, didn’t you?) then find a toy, use your clean fingers, etc. to get her off.

Now you have some homework to do. Because erections actually start in the mind (you didn’t actually think it had its own brain, did you?) it will take some mind training. You may not realize this, but you have trained your brain to think

Condoms ≠ Fun

Condoms are literally built for fun. Sexual fun. Fun in the bedroom. They also make decent water balloons, but only if they’re not Trojans. (They tend to be too thick.)

So you have to make like Pavlov and retrain your dog’s brain. Er, I meant your dick’s brain. Which is your brain. You have to make a new association that condoms lead to fun.

Here’s how you do this:

Step 1: Buy a big pack of condoms, at least a 12-pack. If you want to go wild and do a 36-pack because you have a particularly stubborn mind, be my guest.

Step 2: Every time you have an erection, slip on a condom. And I really hope you know how to put on a condom properly. This video is a particularly good primer. (And I cannot overemphasize: condoms DO have a wrong and a right side. That tip is also in the video.)

That’s it. Just two steps. This process may take you a few weeks, because our mental conditioning cannot be changed overnight. But it’s well worth it, right?

Bonus step: If you want to masturbate with a condom on, you should buy a Fleshlight rather than using your hand. Why? Because while a Fleshlight is a toy, it will come closer to mimicing the feel of an actual vagina. If you are gripping your cock too hard, you are actually making it more difficult for you to stay hard while having sex with another person.

I hope you’ve found this helpful. Happy fucking.

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